The Top 8 Benefits of Having a
Direct Internet Connection to Your Brain

8> Second type of “head” by which you can catch a virus.

7> While your significant other is droning on about her day, you can be looking at porn!

6> If you get a song on the brain, you can always download one of 135,792 more to drown it out.

5> All Pamela Anderson, all the time, all the time, all the– whew, I need a cigarette.

4> Being able to send and receive email in your underwear–hey, wait a minute…

3> You can blame every boneheaded thing you do on those damned script kiddies.

2> Chance of kids finding your downloaded porn: slim to none.

and the Number 1 Benefit of Having a Direct Internet Connection
to Your Brain…

1> Voices in your head stop telling you to impress Jodie Foster, start saying, “You’ve got mail!”

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Credits:

Selected from 58 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1, 2
Shane Looker, Mukilteo, WA — 3
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 4
Larry Mills, Oneonta, NY — 5
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ — 6
Rane Pollock, N Richland Hills, TX — 7
Flynn McLean, Silver Spring, MD — 8
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator