NOTE FROM KIM:

The world’s fastest texter has lost to voice recognition.

The Top 8 Advantages of
Being the World’s Fastest Texter

8> Those speed-of-light fingers could really please a woman in bed. Theoretically, someday if you ever got one there.

7> You can arrange all the details of Date #2 while Mistake #1 is still in the bathroom.

6> Let’s just say those extra-strong thumb muscles come in “handy” when you’re all alone.

5> You can push more buttons, and faster, than your significant other.

4> Your thumbs are huge, and you know what they say about guys with huge thumbs: high scorers in video games.

3> You could randomly type the entire works of Shakespeare thousands of years sooner than any room full of monkeys ever could.

2> Chicks dig teenage guys with arthritis and carpal-tunnel.

and the Number 1 Advantage of Being the World’s Fastest Texter…

1> Allows you to be inane much more quickly and efficiently.

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Credits:

Selected from 19 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — 1, 7
Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 2, 5
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3, 8
Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 4
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA — 6
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator, Topic