June 30, 2009     

The Top 9 Differences If the
Internet Had Been Invented in the 1770s

9> Bill of Rights includes 11th article that calls for the
immediate death penalty for e-mail spamming.

8> We’d be using Windows MCCCVIIIXP.

7> For security, verify that each shopping page has a wax seal
with the imprint of the King’s ring in the bottom right
corner.

6> FROM: continentalcongress@phila.pa.uk
TO: king.george@hanoverroyal.gov.uk
SUBJ: Independence
George,
Please see attached document.
xthxbai.

5> Fifteen minutes after it was posted to Ye Olde Wykypydia, an
anonymous poster amended the U.S. Constitution to guarantee
everybody free mead and pretzels for life.

4> Every one of your Internet newbie friends forwards you the
same tired joke e-mail titled “You Might Be a Redcoat If…”

3> Lawsuits ensue at Valley Forge when General B. Gates has the
soldiers bundle their feet.

2> George Washington would have simply sent that dollar via
PayPal.

and the Number 1 Difference If the Internet Had Been Invented in the 1770s…

1> All PCs are powered by kites with keys.

.

Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 14 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 3
Pete Van Opens, Okauchee, WI — 2
Bill Hewins, Fort Thomas, KY — 4
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 5, 9
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 6
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 6
James Gaskin, Mesquite, TX — 7
Larry Mills, Keeseville, NY — 8
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator, Topic