March 13, 2012      Share

NOTE FROM KIM:
If you haven’t already heard, the “Little Fivers”
(including this Top5 Internet list you’re reading now)
are taking an indefinite hiatus. While our future is
uncertain, our past has been a glorious roller coaster
of poking fun at all things Internet. Thanks to all
our readers and contributors (this means you!) for
making it happen. Hopefully we will see you again soon.

The Top 6 Signs You’re Using a Siri Knock-Off

6> Her name is “Silly” but with the foreign accent it sounds like
“Siri”.

5> Every response is prefaced with, “Let me Google that for you.”

4> Always helpfully suggesting that you do it your own damn self.

3> The voice sounds suspiciously like a stuttering Max Headroom.

2> It can’t find a decent Jewish deli to save its life, but has no
problem locating vindaloo curry.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Using a Siri Knock-Off…
1> “USA Prime Smartphone. My name Pegi. You have problem?”


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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Kevin van Houten, The Colony, TX — 1
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 2
Allen Evans, Cedar Rapids, IA — 3
John Newsome, Valdosta, GA — 4
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 5
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA — 5
Kim Moser, New York, NY — 6, List Moderator, Topic

RUNNERS UP list — Don’t Be Siri

“Open the ebay search, Hal.” “I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t do that.”
     (Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD)

You have to shake the phone to get your answers, which are limited
to “YES”, “MOST LIKELY”, “MY SOURCES SAY NO”, “OUTLOOK NOT SO
GOOD” and “REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN”.
     (Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)

Answers are limited to “Make a right turn ahead”, “Make a left
turn ahead”, and “Recalculating.”
     (Glenn Anthony, San Jose, CA)

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