January 26, 2010     

NOTE FROM KIM:

Apple is set to announce their
new tablet on January 27th.

The Top 8 Features of the Apple Tablet

8> Comes in both Black and Grey Turtleneck.

7> New killer app has already done your tax returns through 2015
– in 3D.

6> Its overpowering coolness triggers a new ice age.

5> Shakira will perform in ads, espousing the wonders of constant
touching.

4> Every time you boot it, Steve Ballmer gets a small electric
shock.

3> Uses the latest in 3D technology to give the appearance that
it actually exists.

2> Holding the tablet in front of your face and running the
“Fairest One of All” app displays an image of Steve Jobs.

and the Number 1 Feature of the Apple Tablet…

1> The first order will be personally delivered by a guy named
Moses.

.

Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Mills, Keeseville, NY — 1
Shane Looker, Union City, CA — 2, Topic
Matt Van Opens, Janesville, WI — 3, 8
Andy Grosser Boston, MA — 4, 5
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 4
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 6
Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 7
Kim Moser, New York, NY — List Moderator