August 19, 2004     

The Top 5 Ways to Convince the
Voters Your School Needs More Tax Money

5> Point out that, if the schools close, the kids will be home
with them!

4> Tell them the horses that pull the school bus are almost out
of hay.

3> Make them sit through a PowerPoint presentation on funding
using the school’s best 286 PC.

2> Since there’s no money for a band, send the Tissue Paper and
Comb Marching Quartet to appear in the Labor Day parade.

and the Number 1 Way to Convince the Voters Your School Needs
More Tax Money…

1> Announce that to save money on fabric, girls’ gym outfits will
be thongs next year.

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Credits:

Selected from 13 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 1, 3, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance Counselor