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February 28, 2008      Share

NOTE FROM LITTLE FIVERS
Someone spiked the Yoo-Hoo at the Little Fivers Leap Year
Partay. In the ensuing frenzy, inhibitions were thrown out
and the keys to our respective offices were thrown into
a fishbowl. When 9pm came around and our moms texted us
to get our butts home NOW, each moderator fished out a key.
One or two drew out a fish instead, but the rest of us reported
to the Fiver office we drew and published that list this week.

Let’s see how we did, shall we?

This week’s Top5 High School list was cooked
up by Top5 Food moderator Doug Frank and his
slicing, dicing and chopping contribs.

The Top 9 Surprising
Things Learned in Home Economics

9> That blue flame from the stove looks exactly like that time at
camp when, um, …never mind.

8> Turkey basters can be used to baste turkeys, too!

7> It’s not a good idea to tell a girl her omelette tastes like
dog crap just before asking her to go to Prom.

6> Leftover sawdust from shop class is a versatile and nutritious
meat extender.

5> A frog in a slowly heated pot of water won’t jump out… and
is delicious in a sauce Bearnaise!

4> The souffle didn’t fall because you made noise. It fell
because it didn’t like you.

3> You can make pizza without using a phone!

2> You can sneak a lot of ants into an omelette before your
cooking partner can taste them.

and the Number 1 Surprising Thing Learned in Home Economics…
1> There is no pot in pot roast.

.

Credits:

Selected from 19 submissions from 4 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Michelle Lord, Lincoln, NE — 1, 4
Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN — 2, 3, 7 (Trey bien!)
Mark Eckenwiler, Washington, DC — 5, 6, 8 (Trey bien!)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 9, Banner tag
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — the Saucier

RUNNERS UP list — Burnt and learnt

An iPod will usually explode faster in a microwave than a
Blackberry.
     (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

Girls love a guy who can cook; however, being the only male in the
class makes people think you’re gay.
     (Michelle Lord, Lincoln, NE)

Hard boiled eggs can be launched at a higher velocity from an air
canon, but fresh eggs have a more dramatic impact.
     (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

In the movies, the guy who can cook gets the hot chick, but in
high school it’s usually the quarterback that gets the chicks.
     (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

Sauteed slugs look exactly like porcini mushrooms.
     (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

The slow-motion, salacious eating of foods is a better babe magnet
in movies than in real life.
     (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

The smell of baking cookies will get out into the hall and attract
jocks.
     (Michelle Lord, Lincoln, NE)

There is a positive correlation between the height of a flipped
pancake and the number of pancakes on the floor.
     (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

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