July 31, 2008      Share

The Top 7 Signs Your
Teacher Is a Mob Boss

7> Your school doesn’t have an orchestra, but most kids carry
violin cases.

6> No homework? Horse head in your locker.

5> After being habitually late for class, he puts out a hit on
your Cocker Spaniel.

4> He teaches a mathematics course called “Running the Numbers.”

3> When the fire drill goes off, he yells “We go to the
mattresses!”

2> Every day at the final bell, he picks a different student to
start his car.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Teacher Is a Mob Boss…
1> He calls numbers such as 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 “organized
primes.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 48 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Alex Calkins, Richmond, IN — 1 (2nd #1 – Woot!)
Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 2, 4, 7 (Hat trick!)
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 2
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 3, 6
Kay Crain, Defiance, MO — 5
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — 6
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — “Booster’s” club

Every morning, your mom gives you $2 for lunch, plus another $20
for “protection.”
     (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN)

He keeps giving you assignments you can’t refuse.
     (Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
     (Alex Calkins, Richmond, IN)

No one ever questions Mr. DelGreccio about where he obtains the
human cadavers for Anatomy class.
     (Lance Petry, China)

Other classes have student teachers sitting in the back. His class
has FBI agents.
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)
     (Kay Crain, Defiance, MO)
     (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

Whenever the principal visits your class he kisses the teacher’s
ring.
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

Runners Up list name
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

Share