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October 14, 2004      Share

The Top 5 Signs Your Paper Was
Written in School the Day It Was Due

5> Your music history paper’s subject changed from “Mozart” to
“Blood, Sweat & Tears” after that volleyball hit you in the
nose during Phys. Ed.

4> “The Mongols went around the mountains represented by these
three baked beans, up into an even snowier elevation
represented by this blob of mayonnaise.”

3> It’s written on the back of your hall pass; the footnotes are
continued on toilet paper.

2> Your English paper on Shakespeare is now entitled “What
Shakespeare Would Have Thought of the Taft-Hartley Labor
Relations Act.”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Paper Was Written in School the Day It
Was Due…
1> “Communism is nothing like chocolate cake. Chocolate cake
consists of 2 c. flour, 1/2 c. butter, 1/2 c. sugar, 2 eggs,
1/4 c. vegetable oil, 2 Tbs. baking powder and 1/4 c. cocoa.
Communism has none of that.”

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Credits:

Selected from 15 submissions from 5 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 1, 5
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2, 3
Kay Crain, Defiance, MO — 4
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance
Counselor

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