July 17, 2003      Share

The Top 8 Signs the Essay
You Bought Won’t Get an A

8> Your teacher wrote it, when *he* was in high school.

7> It was written by a Nobel Prize-winning economist, but your
translation from the Russian leaves something to be desired.

6> You bought it from the guy who lives behind the
supermarket… and it appears to be written in feces.

5> Your essay on the space program is supported by complex
calculations, and predicts that man may some day walk on
the moon.

4> You may not have done the research, but you’re pretty sure
that “The Great Gatsby” wasn’t written by Ella Fitzgerald.

3> You’re only using the free trial version, so there’s an ad
for highschoolessays.com on page four.

2> It better not get an A. You bought the C- version so no one
would get suspicious.

and the Number 1 Sign the Essay You Bought Won’t Get an A…
1> “The War of 1812 began in the hot summer of 1821….”

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Steve Scherer, Rochester, NY — 1 (12th #1)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green OH — 2, 3
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI — 3
Alex Calkins, Richmond, IN — 4, Topic
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 5
Upton O’Connor, Pompano Beach, FL — 6, 7
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 8
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — Guidance Counselor

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