May 1, 2003     

The Top 9 Signs Spring
Fever Has Hit Your High School

9> Nose marks on the windows.

8> Peggy Lee is outside your classroom singing.

7> Security guards are armed with water hoses to separate any
students trying to hook up between classes.

6> They break out the convertible buses!

5> You can tell when a cheerleader is about to enter the room
when the boys all start frantically sniffing the air.

4> The principal opens the weekly assembly by singing a couple
of verses from “Me So Horny.”

3> Tender, green shoots are sprouting up everywhere — including
on the cafeteria’s Salisbury Steak.

2> Lunchtime begins to look like MTV’s Spring Break… and that’s
just in the teacher’s lounge.

and the Number 1 Sign Spring Fever Has Hit Your High School…

1> School shootings now taking place outdoors instead of in
the cafeteria.

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Credits:

Selected from 31 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green OH — 1, 8 (Woo-hoo! First #1!)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 3
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — 4, 7
Upton O’Connor, Pompano Beach, FL — 5
Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL — 6
Steve Scherer, Rochester, NY — 9
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — Topic, Guidance Counselor