March 20, 2003     

The Top 9 Secrets of
the Teachers’ Lounge

9> Two-drink minimum.

8> The Jacuzzi hasn’t been cleaned in over a month!

7> Conga lines on the half-hour.

6> Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” blasted non-stop.

5> Ibuprofen tablets as big as your head.

4> Last year’s senior class, chained to the wall.

3> English Department vs. Math Department cage matches.

2> A 15-foot high hookah.

and the Number 1 Secret of the Teachers’ Lounge…

1> Stunning display of fingers in formaldehyde-filled jars,
taken from shop class sweep-ups.

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Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — 1, 8 (10th #1)
Upton O’Connor, Pompano Beach, FL — 2, 4
Dan Rone, Medford, OR — 3, 6
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — 6
Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL — 5, 7, 9 (Hat trick!)
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — Topic
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — Guidance Counselor