July 3, 2008      Share

NOTE FROM BARB:
By now, I would imagine you’ve heard the
news about the 17 pregnant girls at a
Gloucester, MA High School who may or may
not have made a pact to get pregnant and
raise their kids together. We here at
Top5 High School think this is a Very Bad
Idea no matter why it occurred. Here are
some reasons that will confirm that.

The Top 8 Rejected Reasons for
Getting Pregnant in High School

8> Maybe the gym teacher will finally realize you’re not
interested in her.

7> Extra credit in Biology class for recording the birth and then
showing it to the class.

6> Aspiring to someday join the FLDS!

5> Because Mom and Dad will LOVE being grandparents.

4> So you can walk down the hall, randomly pointing at guys
shouting “You did this to me!”

3> “Like, duh, pregnant parking is uber close to the front door.”

2> You can mouth off to your jerk of a teacher and say it was
hormones.

and the Number 1 Rejected Reason for Getting Pregnant in High School…
1> Been there, done that in middle school.

.

Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 1 (2nd #1 – Woot!)
Kristina Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 2
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 3
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 4
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 5
Kay Crain, Defiance, MO — 6
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — 7, Banner tag
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 7
Lance Petry, China — 7
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 8
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — The Rabbit Died

Get to ride in the front seat of the school bus right behind that
sexy Mr. Ervine, the busdriver.
     (Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

No gym class for, like, ever!
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

People will stop pestering you about needing to lose weight.
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

Stretch marks before twenty? Not a good look, babe.
     (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

The possibility that if your water breaks during Sex Ed, you
become the guinea pig for the day.
     (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

To finally have bigger boobs than that damned Ashley McDermott.
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

Well, the utter dearth of cute maternity prom dresses is a biggie.
     (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
     (Kristina Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

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