July 10, 2008      Share

The Top 7 Reasons Your
Summer Isn’t Going Well

7> Mary Kay Letourneau no longer teaches summer school.

6> You’ve burned, peeled, and are now down to the layer of skin
with all the zits.

5> Your father remarried, and his new wife will be a senior at
your high school.

4> You failed the life guard test, so your summer job is fishing
poop out of the public pool.

3> Amazing that a little stick that turns blue can have such an
effect on your outlook.

2> They don’t make enough Nair to help you feel comfortable in
a bikini.

and the Number 1 Reason Your Summer Isn’t Going Well…
1> Your minimum wage job provides you with enough income to
afford gas to get to your minimum wage job.

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Credits:

Selected from 59 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — 1, Banner tag 2nd #1 Woot!!
Brian Bell, Seattle, WA — 1, 7 1st #1 Woot!
Kristina Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 1 1st #1 Woot!
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 1 1st #1 Woot!
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 2
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — 3, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Carly Simmons, Narragansett, RI — 6
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — Dog Days

All your friends: Beach house rental
You: Repeating Algebra.
     (Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ)

Pro: The summer camp counselor is super hunky.
Con: He wears an old hockey mask.
     (Guy Reeves, Houston, TX)
     (Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL)

The black Sharpie used on your drunken face at your graduation
party will take about 3 months to fade.
     (Brian Bell, Seattle, WA)

What you thought was acne turned out to be breasts, and you’re
a boy.
     (Gary O. Reynolds, Lafayette, IN)

Turns out what you thought were breasts was the beginning of acne,
and you’re a girl.
     (Gary O. Reynolds, Lafayette, IN)

When they said, “Spring forward”, you did, and missed Summer
altogether.
     (Guy Reeves, Houston, TX)

Yes, you are happy to meet her and yes, that is a sand castle in
your swim trunks.
     (Guy Reeves, Houston, TX)
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

Runners Up list name
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

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