November 18, 2004      Share

NOTE FROM ANDREA:
“So, how was school today?”
“Fine.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”

The Top 5 Reasons
Nothing Happened at School Today

5> “You know how our school bus has to drive down that long,
deserted country road when it’s still dark out? Well, we saw
some lights in the sky, and the next thing we knew it was 3 PM
and we were all impregnated with alien babies. I’m going to
call mine Grigzap.”

4> “The teachers refused to come out of the staff room and all the
other students went home so I just took a rifle up the clock
tower and took pot-shots at the rats.”

3> “Oh, do you see all those beautiful colors!? You don’t? What
about that flying zebra!? Dad, is that your ice cream toaster
in the microwave oven? I can flyyyyyyy!!!”

2> “When I say nothing, what I really mean is nothing that, if I
told you about it, would in any way, shape, or form improve
our parent-child relationship.”

and the Number 1 Reason Nothing Happened at School Today…
1> “Honestly, with ADD this severe, if something memorable did
happen, I would– hey, it’s time for Buffy!”

.

Credits:

Selected from 9 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1, 2, 3 (Hat trick!)
Kobus Myburgh, Vanderbijlpark, S. Africa — 3
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
Amy Gorlewski, Wichita, KS — 5
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance Counselor

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