June 12, 2008      Share

The Top 8 New
“Most Likely” Categories

8> Most Likely to Be Illegally Wiretapped.

7> Most Likely to Secede.

6> Most Likely to End Up As a Green Tea Drinking, Yoga
Practicing, Mediation Junkie Hedge Fund Manager.

5> Most Likely to Be The Person Throwing Up In The News Footage
of Spring Break.

4> Most likely to Be Featured on Leno’s “Jaywalking.”

3> Most Likely to Be Outsourced.

2> Most Likely to Invent The Next Untestable “Performance
Enhancing” Drug By The 2012 Olympics.

and the Number 1 New “Most Likely” Category…
1> Most Likely to Keep Campaigning for Student Body President
Long After Your Classmates Have Elected The Other Candidate.



Selected from 60 submissions from 16 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 1 (1st #1! Woot!)
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 2
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 3, 8
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 4
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5, 6
Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 7
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Topic
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner tag
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — Outvoted

Most Likely to Appear On Television Being Escorted From the
Stadium By Security.
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

Most Likely to Be “Outed” at the Senior Banquet Via the “Most
Likely” List.
     (Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN)

Most Likely to Feel You Up, Kiss Your Sister, Slap Your Mom’s Ass,
Borrow Your Dad’s Prius, Sleep With Your Best Friend and Still
Tell You That You Are The Only One For Him.
     (Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ)

Most Likely to Get Stripped of The Kiwanis’ 10k Fun Run Medal For
     (Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA)

Most Likely to Have a Piece of Undercooked Chicken Flung At His
Head By Gordon Ramsay.
     (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD)

Most Likely to Have Former Employees and Spouses Who Get Rich
Writing Tell-All Books.
     (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN)

Most Likely to Marry a Plastic Surgeon, Get a Stellar Boob Job
Then Leave Him For The Pool Boy.
     (Kay Crain, Defiance, MO)
     (Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)

Most Likely to Remain Unchanged By the Wealth and Power of
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)

Most Likely to Take Out Someone From a Clock Tower
     (Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)

Runners Up list name
     (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN)