July 17, 2008      Share

Apparently retailers are already promoting
back-to-school sales in hopes of getting
shoppers in sooner. In order to make your
shopping list complete, here are some items
that high schoolers are going to need in
order to be hip, cool and semi-productive.

The Top 7 Must-Have
Back-to-School Items for High School

7> Bullet-proof vest in school colors.

6> Principal-pre-signed hall pass and tardy excuse maker.

5> The Jamie Lynn Spears birth-control-pill n’ Pez dispenser.

4> Eyeglass frames with CGI eyes that look awake.

3> Calculator that figures the number of hours until Winter

2> Gap’s new Attractive Girlfriend accessory.

and the Number 1 Must-Have Back-to-School Item for High School…
1> GPS-enabled Freshman Detector.



Selected from 33 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 1, 5 (1st #1 Woot!!)
Kristina Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 1 (2nd #1 Woot!)
David J. Ludwig, San Diego, CA — 2
Carly Simmons, Narragansett, RI — 3, Banner tag
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 4
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — 6
Eleanor Salerno, White Plains, NY — 6
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 7
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — Bargain Basement

Apple’s new iAnswer: Stores test answers and then sends them to
     (Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL)
     (Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)
     (Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN)

Inflatable look-alike doll that can get you out of mandatory
     (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN)

Locker-sized Vanity Fair pics of Miley Cyrus.
     (Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)

New Stridex medicated acne computer mousepad.
     (David J. Ludwig, San Diego, CA)

OTC treatments for Senioritis.
     (Kristina Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)