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March 25, 2004      Share

Yes, officially sanctioned school prayer violates
the separation of church and state. But students
pray in school all the time. About what? We
wondered that too, so we tapped the Big Guy’s
phone and intercepted a few teenagers’
transmissions. Here they are:

The Top 6 Most
Popular School Prayers

6> “Dear all-merciful and loving God, I call on You in Your
ultimate wisdom to please kill all the other males on the
planet so Emily Claushauser will go out with me.”

5> “As a parochial school student whose tuition is paid in full,
I demand the following….”

4> “God, please let THIS cheerleader be attracted to dorks.”

3> “And in the closing seconds, may the opposing point guard lift
up his dribble and travel, causing the ball to be turned over
unto us, oh Lord of All Creation.”

2> “May my day be wedgie-free. For once.”

and the Number 1 Most Popular School Prayer…
1> “Lord, please don’t let the teacher call me to the chalkboard
while I’m daydreaming of Beyonce.”



Selected from 33 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Gary Tunstall, Houston, TX — 1, 2, 4, 5
(10th #1!)
Steve Scherer, Rochester, NY — 3
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 6
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — RU list name
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance Counselor