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June 3, 2004      Share

NOTE FROM ANDREA:
Weekly World News is not just a tabloid, it’s a
way of life. A way of life where aliens hold
regular talks with the president and the most
important forecast comes not from the National
Weather Service but from Nostradamus. What if WWN
decided to expand its media holdings to include
your school’s newspaper?

The Top 6 Headlines If Your School
Paper Were Taken Over by Weekly World News

6> Alien Dog on Homework-Eating Binge!

5> Coach Lewis Seeks Advice From Vince Lombardi’s Ghost.

4> Elvis Is Alive, Teaching Band Class.

3> Astonishing Image of Jesus Found in Cafeteria Turkey Melt!

2> West High Tigers Beat Our Basketball Team… With Help of
Satan!

and the Number 1 Headline If Your School Paper Were Taken Over by
Weekly World News…
1> Crop Circles on Football Field! Administration Denies Alien
Involvement; Claims “They’re Mower Tracks.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Kay Crain, Defiance, MO — 1 (2nd #1!)
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green OH — 2
Dan Lautman, Rockville, MD — 3
Marc Elmer, Burbank, CA — 3
Dan Lautman, Rockville, MD — 4
Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 5, 6
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — RU list name
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance Counselor

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