September 11, 2003      Share

The Top 9 Haikus About High School

9> Weekend’s here. Time to
Hang out in the parking lot
Of the Dairy Queen.

8> Brainiac argues,
“Why did I get A-minus?”
Other kids roll eyes.

7> Kate never wears bras.
Slow-motion film in my head.
Must use bathroom stall.

6> Linebacker wants me
To help him with Algebra.
No noogies this year.

5> Varsity letter.
Now I’ll get laid for certain.
Thank you, marching band!

4> Yearbook photographs:
Photographer waits till I
Yawn to take picture

3> Drank on a school night.
Booted all over homeroom.
Thank God for sawdust.

2> In one stall, hot sex.
In the other, vomiting.
Must be senior prom.

and the Number 1 Haiku About High School…
1> White flakes fall across
My test paper. Snow day? Or
Should I wash my hair?



Selected from 18 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Upton O’Connor, Pompano Beach, FL — 1, 5 (13th #1)
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 2, 4, Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA — 3, 7, 8 (Hat trick!)
Gary Tunstall, Houston, TX — 6, 9
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — Guidance Counselor