June 24, 2004      Share

Many schools have an official post-graduation
party that lasts all night, during which the graduates
aren’t allowed to leave until morning. The idea is
to avoid student-run parties, with all the drugs,
sex, drunken driving and disrespectful treatment
of the host’s mom’s Hummel figurines. So it’s like
a cross between a church carnival
and a night in Juvie.

The Top 5 Disappointments at the
School’s All-Night Graduation Party

5> Good: Lots of music.
Bad: It’s all supplied by the marching band.
Worse: They only know ten songs.

4> The “stag” movies Coach promised were just videos of his last
hunting trip.

3> The high point of the evening: body shots. Unfortunately, they
involve a half-pint of whole milk and Bertha the lunch lady.

2> “Hey, kids! Bobbing for apples at midnight! Let’s get CRAZY!”

and the Number 1 Disappointment at the School’s All-Night
Graduation Party…
1> You’re homeschooled.



Selected from 34 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa — 1, 5 (7th #1!)
Steve Scherer, Rochester, NY — 2
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO — 3, 4
Andrea Crain, Madison, WI — Guidance Counselor