May 29, 2008      Share

The Top 7 Differences If School
Bus Drivers Were Trained by NASCAR

7> Students have to enter and leave the bus through the windows.

6> Frantic rush to get on the bus during the 15.8 second bus

5> Your kid’s birthday request: a mullet.

4> Many more Moms are at the bus stop drinking Bud Light and
taking off their shirts.

3> Every time the bus stops, somebody hands a squeeze bottle of
Gatorade through the window.

2> Several kids get missed because their stops require a right

and the Number 1 Difference If School Bus Drivers Were Trained by NASCAR…
1> “I’d like to say it was all me, but my crew was great and the
Elmer’s-Trapper Keeper-Nintendo-Hunt’s Pudding Cups-Tostino
Pizza Rolls-Hannah Montana Chevy, she just ran awesome today.”



Selected from 53 submissions from 17 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Gary O. Reynolds, Lafayette, IN — 1, 4 (2nd #1!)
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — 2, Banner tag
Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN — 2
Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 2, 6
Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, MD — 3, 7
Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 5
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 6
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 6
Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 7
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 7, Topic
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Class Clown

RUNNERS UP list — Checkered Past

All buses now come with a roll bar.
     (Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)

At least one pile-up a week as the drivers try to be the first bus
to the door.
     (Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI)
     (Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)
     (Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN)

Busty girls and champagne at the end of the trip replaced with
goth chicks, cigarettes and RockStar.
     (Steven Lunetta, Tucson, AZ)

Driver tells all the kids to switch from one side to the other so
he can make the turns faster.
     (Gary O. Reynolds, Lafayette, IN)
     (Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)

How much force was required to “trade paint” with the other buses
becomes part of your physics homework at school.
     (Gary O. Reynolds, Lafayette, IN)
     (Dan Horton, Fishkill, NY)

Only kids wearing logos matching the driver’s sponsors are picked
     (David J. Ludwig, San Diego, CA)

Parents wait at the curb with signs saying “Show Us Your Tots!”
     (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN)

You’re always to school on time, but you smell like burnt rubber
and exhaust, and you can’t hear anything.
     (Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI)

Runners Up list name
     (Doug Frank, Crosby, TX)