July 15, 2010      Share

The Top 6 Amazing Things You
Didn’t Know About Summer School

6> It is possible to drown in your own sweat.

5> Sometime mid-July, the maintenance guy finally frees all
freshmen locked in their lockers.

4> All the dumb girls seem to be the hot girls.

3> Contrary to scribblings in your yearbook, you weren’t 2 sweet
2 be 4-gotten.

2> Fingernails on the chalkboard sound twice as loud through the
summer humidity.

and the Number 1 Amazing Thing You Didn’t Know About Summer School…
1> The principal shows up in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt every
day, because it turns out he doesn’t give a s#*t either.


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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

John D. Newsome, Ty Ty, GA — 1 4th #1!
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 2
Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 3, 5
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 4
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 6
Ric Ocasek — Banner tag
Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI — Hall Monitor

RUNNERS UP list — Flunkies

Disappointingly, it’s absolutely nothing like that Mark Harmon
movie.
     (John D. Newsome, Ty Ty, GA)

It’s far easier to make the teacher go off on a tangent when she’s
also thinking about heading to the beach.
     (Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN)

Loser summer school students taught by loser teachers with no
seniority.
     (Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)

Sexist teacher grades on what kind of beach apparel is worn.
     (Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

Stupid hot chicks wear even less, and that AC is making things
really, well, frigid.
     (Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)

The guy next to you with the knife is actually your long-lost
father.
     (Guy Reeves, Houston, TX)

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