January 8, 2004     

The Top 9 Ways to Tell a Cow Is Mad

9> Hot milk. Sour cream.

8> Who knows? They *are* the quiet kind of crazy.

7> As your eyes meet across the pasture, it gives you a glare that
curdles… well, you get the idea.

6> It’s on the Atkins diet.

5> Each teat has a different personality.

4> Selling her milk at *that* price, she’s either mad or she
doesn’t care about the overhead.

3> She’s wearing leather… and it’s not her own.

2> It keeps writing “Can’t sleep! Clowns will eat me!” under a
picture of Ronald McDonald.

and the Number 1 Way to Tell a Cow Is Mad…

1> It insists on telling you its plans for world domination in
detail, instead of just killing you right away.

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Credits:

Selected from 62 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

William Longspee, Salisbury, England — 1, Banner Tag
Eric Rossing, Holbrook, MA — 2, 5
Dave Rutherford, Middlebury, CT — 3
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 4
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 6, 8
Rich Frantz, Cairo, NY — 7, 9
Tracy Lunquist, NW Suburbia, IL — 7, 9
Joel Baskin, Brighton, MA — RU list name
Mel Clark, Kalamazoo, MI — HM I list name
L.C. Vaca, Charolais, WI — HM II list name
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Bo