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July 15, 2010      Share

NOTE FROM JILL:
It’s not too late to get in shape for bikini
season! Here are some expert tips on how to do so.

The Top 8 Ways to Get in Shape for Bikini Season

8> 1. Kidnap bikini model. 2. Remove her clothing. 3. Tie her to
bed with leather restraints. 4. Don black hood and loincloth.
5. Um, sorry, what was the question?

7> Eat healthy foods, exercise moderately, select swimsuits that
complement your figure, and kill everyone thinner than you.

6> Start interviewing for a body double to attend functions and
wear the bikini for you.

5> See if they make permanent full-body Spanx.

4> Daily practice using your peripheral vision (men only).

3> Feed Twinkies to everyone else, there by making you look
bikini-ready by proxy.

2> Mow my lawn! No, seriously. Two hours twice a week pushing a
mower up a 30-foot hill. Call me.

and the Number 1 Way to Get in Shape for Bikini Season…
1> Give up, move to New Zealand and start training now for THEIR
bikini season.


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Credits:

Selected from 21 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 1, 2 (10th #1)
Matt Van Opens, Janesville, WI — 3, 6
Chris White, Studio City, CA — 4
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 7, 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen

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