June 1st, 2006



NOTE FROM FRAN:
It seems monkeys exhibit some of the same
unhealthy behaviors as humans when given
the opportunity to ingest alcohol.


The Top 6 Things That
Drive Monkeys to Drink


6> Chichi claims it gets him in the groove for organ grinding.

5> The heartbreak of a receding red buttline.

4> Press the left bar, get a shock. Press the right bar, get a shot. Even the rats figured this one out.

3> The same things that drive humans to drink: Being forced to wear a suit and caper around like an idiot.

2> “It all started when my mate ran off with that human dork in the yellow hat.”

and the Number 1 Thing That Drives Monkeys to Drink…

1> “All day, every day, all of us are typing our opposable little digits off, and the *&%$# editor has yet to approve a single page.”




.

Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 1, 3
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 2, 6
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4, 5
Lindley Armstrong Jones, Long Beach, CA — Banner tag
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body