September 30, 2004      Share

NOTE FROM FRAN:
We’ve all experienced the hell of tech support
for one product or another,
from one side of the phone line or the other.
But what if our *bodies* were the product in question?

The Top 8 Things Overheard on
the Human Body Tech Support Line

8> “Can you hold, please?”
“No! That’s why I’m calling!”

7> “I’m sorry, brain function has been outsourced to India.
Please hold while I transfer you.”

6> “You have reached anus and colon support. For foreign object
removal, press one. For foreign object insertion, press two.
All other inquiries, stay on the line and we will probe you
shortly.”

5> “Welcome to the Male Support Line. No, we can’t enlarge it. In
the unlikely case you have another question, press one.”

4> “Your girlfriend’s right, sir, it is a known issue and does
happen to most guys at some point in time.”

3> “I’m sorry sir, all primary reasoning capabilites have been
transfered to the lower brain. I will have to transfer you
there.” (Males only)

2> “All our cardiac arrest technicians are busy right now.
Please hold, your call is important to us.”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard on the Human Body Tech Support Line…
1> “I’m out of memory. Can I get an upgrade?”


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Credits:

Selected from 48 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

J. Amila, Chicago, IL — 1
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 2, 5
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 3, 7
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 4, 8
James Floyd, San Diego, CA — 6
William Longspee, Salisbury, England — RU list name
Reid F. Manuel, Santa Clara, CA — Banner Tag, HM list name
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Bo

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