May 18th, 2006
NOTE FROM FRAN:
By “outdoor” vacation, we mean one that
involves active, er, activities: hiking,
climbing, sailing and the like.
Does this topic refer to my recent vacation?
Why ever would you think that?
involves active, er, activities: hiking,
climbing, sailing and the like.
Does this topic refer to my recent vacation?
Why ever would you think that?
The Top 8 Signs You’re Not in
Shape for Your Outdoor Vacation
Shape for Your Outdoor Vacation
8> You’re used to activities involving crops and bridles that leave you with a sore rear end. But this time, there’ll be horses involved.
7> Forget whitewater rafting — you get winded singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”
6> “Hey Hank, we better double up on the bungee cords!”
5> If you need a Sherpa to help you carry your new hiking boots from the store to the car, perhaps hiking the Appalachian Trail is not for you.
4> The rafting guide shouted, “Ready to stroke!” So did your doctor.
3> “What’s that white thing off to starboard?” “It’s either a small iceberg or Williams floating on his back.”
2> You splash happily in the surf until the other tourists organize a rescue effort to return you to the water.
and the Number 1 Sign You’re Not in Shape for Your Outdoor Vacation…
1> Given your chances of outrunning a bear, you might as well just slather yourself with barbecue sauce before the hike.
.
Credits:
Selected from 60 submissions from 15 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 1
James Floyd, San Diego, CA — 2
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 3
Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB — 4, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Cheri Yannuzzi, Drums, PA — 5, 7
Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT — 5
David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA — 5
Tina Danecke, Edmonton, AB — 6
Ebenezer Bryce, Panguitch, UT — Banner tag
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body
RUNNERS UP list — Fat Chance
The horse you rode is now seeing a chiropractor.
(David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA)
“Does this poncho come in blue?” “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s a tent.”
(Tina Danecke, Edmonton, AB)
You have trouble climbing the hills. In the Everglades.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
Nude beaches become “parka only” when you show up.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)
(David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA)
“Does this poncho come in blue?” “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s a tent.”
(Tina Danecke, Edmonton, AB)
You have trouble climbing the hills. In the Everglades.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
Nude beaches become “parka only” when you show up.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa)
