cashier asks for my ID and then snorts.
9> Your beer goggles are now bifocals.
8> You have t-shirts older than your neighbor.
7> You used to worry about your boobs failing the pencil test.
Now your belly fails the pencil test.
6> You keep eying that pretty young thing across the bar, not
because you want to talk to her but because you are pretty
sure she’s one of your kids’ friends.
5> You remember when Pluto wasn’t a planet in the first place.
4> You used to babysit your UPS man.
3> The “kids” you’re yelling at to get off your lawn? They’re
2> Your social security number has only 7 digits.
Selected from 26 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 1, 3 (30th #1)
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 2, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Matt Van Opens, Janesville, WI — 6, 9
Ellen Satter, Trumbull, CT — 7
Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen