March 20th, 2008



The Top 7 Signs Your
Hairdresser Is an Alien


7> Recommend highlighting to “bring out the green” in your complexion.

6> “Greetings, fellow biped. In what manner do you request that I mutilate the cellular strands excreted from your cranium?”

5> A hairbrush, a comb, a pair of scissors, a teaser and a blow dryer. How else is she using all that stuff at once without 8 tentacles?

4> That wasn’t styling gel she used, but rather the ectoplasm from a Centaurian slime worm.

3> She pushes the hair-needles straight through your skull to fiddle around and see how your brain works.

2> Asks if you’d mind if she kept the clippings to feed the poor.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Hairdresser Is an Alien…

1> “Would you like the usual today? Shampoo, rinse, and anal probe?”




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Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jaye Rowe, Providence, RI — 1 (2nd #1!)
Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 2, 6
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 3
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 4, 5
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 7
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen