Next  Previous list:  

April 8, 2010      Share

The Top 8 Signs You
Shouldn’t Have Taken That Last Bite

8> The button on your pants just projectiled off and killed your

7> Onlookers try pushing you into the water.

6> You’ve just realized that you’ll need 44 hours on the
elliptical to burn that off.

5> Your belt has to be surgically removed.

4> Your liver has sent you a Dear John letter.

3> Your belly button isn’t so much an “outie” as an “outie and
dragging on the floor-ie.”

2> You’re so fat, they kicked you off Southwest. No, not the
airline. The entire South West.

and the Number 1 Sign You Shouldn’t Have Taken That Last Bite…
1> The acupuncturist put the first needle in and you exploded.



Selected from 19 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 1, 5 (5th #1!!)
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 2, 3
Matt Van Opens, Janesville, WI — 4
Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 6, 7
Jaye Rowe, Providence, RI — 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen