January 15, 2004     

The Top 6 Scientific
Principles of Beauty

6> They say “What goes up, must come down.” Unfortunately, that
also applies to tushie tucks.

5> For every action, there is an equal and opposite allergic
reaction.

4> The length of a woman’s hair, L, is equal to its pre-child
length, P, divided by the number of her children, C.

3> A dab shall be equal to the amount that does ya.

2> Extra mass attracts extra mascara.

and the Number 1 Scientific Principle of Beauty…

1> Any sufficiently advanced plastic surgery is indistinguishable
from magic.

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Credits:

Selected from 33 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Tracy Lunquist, Corn Country, IL — 1, 5
Howard Spindel, Portland, OR — 2
Justin-Paul Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ — 3
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 4
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 6
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body