June 24, 2004     

NOTE FROM FRAN:

If you’ve tried to shop for women’s sportswear this season,
you know what’s happening: It’s impossible to find casual pants
that actually reach all the way to one’s ankles.
Maybe it’s just me, but I suspect some kind of conspiracy.
Here’s what our contributors thinK:

The Top 8 Reasons Women Can’t
Buy Full-Length Pants This Summer

8> An escape route for the weasels, silly!

7> I’m not sure, but I bet it has something to do with carbs.

6> Another tragic “units” error: The specifications were in
inches, but the cutters thought they were in centimeters.

5> The pants are actually moving at near-light speeds, so they
appear shorter to a stationary observer.

4> It’s a plot by the Vein Centers of America.

3> The Communists! It’s always the Communists! Unless it’s the
Martians.

2> Wild monkeys with scissors. Duh.

and the Number 1 Reason Women Can’t Buy Full-Length Pants This
Summer…

1> With the election approaching, things are getting deep all
over.

.

Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Christa Grunewald, Leonardville, KS — 1
William Prune Wickart, Danish Falls, MN — 1, 8
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 1
Mel Clark, Kalamazoo, MI — 2
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 3
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 4, 5, 6 (Hat trick!)
Barb Padgett, Toledo, OH — 7
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Bo