NOTE FROM FRAN:

The New England Journal of Medicine recently reported
on a study of 38,000 men, over 12 years, that indicates
moderate consumption of alcohol (three or more drinks per week)
actually helps protect the heart. We have some suggestions
for the beverage industry, on how to use this information
in their future advertising:

The Top 7 Health-Related
Advertising Slogans for Alcoholic Beverages

7> Give us a kidney, we’ll fix your heart condition.

6> “Whaazzzuuuuup?” “My LDL and triglycerides.” “Dude.”

5> If you’ve got the scientific evidence, we’ve got the beer.

4> Nine out of 10 dentists surveyed recommend sugar-free Jell-O shots for their patients who chew gum.

3> S’mores-flavored schnapps — It’s not just for breakfast any more!

2> When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re dead!

and the Number 1 Health-Related Advertising Slogan for Alcoholic
Beverages…

1> Constipated? Weak ends were made for Michelob!

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Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1
Ruta Baga, France — 2, 6
John Franklin, Dalton, GA — 3
Ragiel, Kalamazoo, MI — 3
Tracy Lunquist, Corn Country, IL — 4, 5, 7 (Hat trick!)
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — Runner Up list name
Echinacea Fartlek, Lentil, NJ — Banner Tag
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body