May 1st, 2008



The Top 9 Health Care Changes
Under President Hillary Clinton


9> Hospital gowns are replaced by smart, disposable pantsuits.

8> “And to ensure everyone gets equal healthcare, I am outlawing medicine.”

7> Elective castration by spouse is a covered benefit.

6> Chain saws approved by FDA for use during PMS.

5> Births of babies born to Republican parents will not be covered.

4> Sense of humor removal covered in all health plans.

3> Insurance companies are forced to pay every claim, as even the smallest scratch can now be classified as a “sniper wound.”

2> Her picture can no longer be used as a cure for priapism.

and the Number 1 Health Care Change Under President Hillary Clinton…

1> Free PAP smears for everyone. First Husband gets his on the 6:00 pm news.




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Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 1 (6th #1!)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2
Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 3, 4, 7, 9 (Hat trick!)
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI — 6, 7
Brandon Eldridge, Seattle, WA — 8
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen