November 8th, 2007
NOTE FROM JILL:
My excuse for weight-gain is that I haven’t
lost the baby weight. It has *nothing* to do
with my fondness for all things chocolate. What
are some other ‘good’ excuses for weight gain?
lost the baby weight. It has *nothing* to do
with my fondness for all things chocolate. What
are some other ‘good’ excuses for weight gain?
The Top 7 Excuses for Weight Gain
7> “Ever since Oprah slimmed down I’ve had to start eating for two.”
6> “Looking to go pillowless on my next mall-Santa gig.”
5> “My stupid scale just loafs around on the bathroom floor all day — it’s about time it carried some weight around here!”
4> “My ‘Ejectio Calorisis’ spell does not seem to be working.”
3> “Twinkie the Kid killed my parents in a bank robbery and I’m out for revenge.”
2> “It’s for a part the Community Center play. I’m playing the Community Center.”
and the Number 1 Excuse for Weight Gain…
1> “It’s all part of an effort to change the way beauty is perceived in modern society, one piece of cheesecake at a time.”
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Credits:
Selected from 22 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Paul Van Opens, Annapolis, MD — 1, 3 (3rd #1!)
Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 5, 6
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 7
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen
