NOTE FROM FRAN:

Even TopFive Health and Beauty has succumbed
to the lure of Reality TV.
Imagine what would happen if the home remodeling crew
from “Trading Spaces” invaded the cosmetics counter to do
“Extreme Makeovers.” The mind reels.

The Top 8 Differences If the
“Trading Spaces” Crew Did Makeovers

8> Added *way* too much to that big back porch.

7> Hair restoration now involves an actual rug.

6> You think it’s a pretty cool idea, until Tammy Faye shows up with her wheelbarrow and trowels.

5> Less silicone, more Fiberglas.

4> You’re really into it until they strip you down and start spreading tarps all around your feet.

3> You’re sporting a fabulous new double-D pot rack.

2> You’ve been… SLIPCOVERED.

and the Number 1 Difference If the “Trading Spaces” Crew Did
Makeovers…

1> Three words: Ass crack spackle.

.

Credits:

Selected from 29 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Randy Lee, Burke, VA — 1, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 2
M. Chandler Kelley, Somewherein, DE — 3, 7
Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL — 4
Kevin van Houten, The Colony, TX — 6
Maybelline L’Oreal, Blush, NJ — Banner Tag
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body