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January 29, 2004      Share

The Golden Globes were this past Sunday, the Super Bowl is
this coming Sunday. While the NFL season is winding down,
awards show season is just getting started.
The fevered brain of Top5 Health and Beauty wonders
what would happen if some of our expert sports commentators
decided to pick up a little off-season work
doing fashion coverage:

The Top 6 Differences If Sports
Announcers Covered the Red Carpet at an Award Show

6> “And folks say *my* hairpiece don’t look real — check out
that possum sittin’ on toppa Burt Reynolds!”

5> “I love all these ’80s throwback outfits we’re seeing.
The shoulder pads are making me nostalgic for my playing

4> Howie Long has Mr. Blackwell in a headlock and refuses to
let go until he takes Teri Hatcher off his “Worst Dressed

3> “So John, what’s your take on Nicole’s outfit?” “Ninety
percent of that dress is half flesh!”

2> Uses the Telestrator to show Colin Farrell’s illegal use of
hands on Scarlett Johansson.

and the Number 1 Difference If Sports Announcers Covered the Red
Carpet at an Award Show…
1> “Clooney is out of the limo… he’s at the curb, headed for
the doors… he slips past Leeza Gibbons… Clooney has a
clear shot for the entrance to the Chandler Pavillion…



Selected from 31 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ — 1
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 2
Jack Scheer, Rockville, MD — 2
Christa Grunewald, Leonardville, KS — 3, 4
Jack Scheer, Rockville, MD — 5
Randy Lee, Burke, VA — 6
Amy Levy, Chicago, IL — 6
Tracy Lunquist, NW Suburbia, IL — 6
Vera Wannstedt, Houston, TX — Banner Tag, RU list name
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body