June 15th, 2006
NOTE FROM FRAN:
Many people consider soccer a healthier,
less dangerous sport for kids than
American football. Others consider it
wimpy and boring. In any case, the
World Cup is on, so we think it would be
healthy to poke fun at both sides.
less dangerous sport for kids than
American football. Others consider it
wimpy and boring. In any case, the
World Cup is on, so we think it would be
healthy to poke fun at both sides.
The Top 5 Differences Between
Soccer and “American Football”
Soccer and “American Football”
5> American Football: Players weigh more than refrigerators.
Soccer: Players are lucky to have refrigerators.
4> There are no American football hooligans, because the tailgate parties in their huge SUVs leave them too stuffed to riot.
Soccer fans are just pissed off at the paltry spread of chow in the backs of their Fiats.
3> “Listen, Yank. Anywhere else this topic would be ‘Differences Between Football and That Thing Americans Watch From Their Comfy Chairs on Sunday Afternoons.’”
2> Soccer: Ninety minutes of teamwork and flexibility, with occasional incidental tripping.
American Football: Three-hour committee meetings interrupted by personal violence.
and the Number 1 Difference Between Soccer and American Football….
1> Soccer: Mostly aerobic.
American Football: Mostly anabolic.
.
Credits:
Selected from 33 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 1
William Prune Wickart, Danish Falls, MN — 2
Matt Van Opens, Kenosha. WI — 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4
David J Ludwig, San Diego, CA — 5
R. Moreira, Porto Alegre, Brazil — Banner tag
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — List Moderator/Governing Body
