January 7, 2010      Share

The Top 9 Celebrity Resolutions
We Probably Don’t Want to Copy

9> Kiefer Sutherland: Drive faster when drunk so I get home
before the cops catch me.

8> Howie Mandell: Check with Donald Trump for some advice on a
new hair style.

7> Kim Kardashian: Try my best not to be so subtle with the

6> Kate Moss: Totally get serious and not eat until I lose those
last 50 pounds.

5> Kirstie Alley: Get me some of them hot pants.

4> Lady Gaga: Break out of fashion rut, try something new and
wild for a change.

3> Tom Cruise: No mind-altering drugs, no matter what those
quacks at UCLA Medical Center are constantly advising.

2> Tiger Woods: Get in a few extra practice holes each week.

and the Number 1 Celebrity Resolution We Probably Don’t Want to Copy…
1> Elin Nordegren: More clubbing.



Selected from 36 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Stephen Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO — 1 (6th #1!)
Chris White, Studio City, CA — 2, 7
Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB — 3, 6
Mel Clark, Kalamazoo, MI — 4, 6
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 8
Peter Van Opens, Oconomowoc, WI — 9
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — Beauty Queen