NOTE FROM BRIAN:

If I need to tell you that this list is about Black & White,
the game where you play god and raise creatures as
champions to enforce your will and expand your influence,
then you need to get out less and fuel your god
complex with the rest of the world.
Go on. We’ll wait.

The Top 6 Signs You’ve
Mishandled Your Creature’s Training

6> Ever since that mishap with the discipline leash, your cow has been giving you weird looks and mentioning that he’s already covered in leather.

5> Despite your best efforts to teach him a summoning dance, it always comes out as some variation of the Macarena.

4> Apparently you left the program *and* your webcam on, and now he’s learned a few new things from you — like scratching his ass and sleeping with your girlfriend.

3> He keeps chasing the female villagers and biting the ears off his opponents.

2> You managed to teach him to eat *only* the elderly males in the village, but you are constantly catching him snacking on breeders in-between sacrifices.

and the Number 1 Sign You’ve Mishandled Your Creature’s
Training…

1> He can’t seem to grasp the basic concepts of Zen even though you’ve demonstrated hundreds of times the sound of one hand clapping — upside his fuzzy head.

.

Credits:

Selected from 17 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 Gaming List authors are:

Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL — 1, 2, 4 (Hat trick! 2nd #1)
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 3, 5
George Schmidt, Sunnyvale, CA — 6
Guybrush Threepwood, Plano, TX — Topic
Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL — Gaming Commissioner