The Top 8 Signs
You’re Not a Zoo Tycoon

8> You’re beginning to realize that featuring the fleas of the world’s animals instead of the animals themselves was perhaps not your brightest idea.

7> The penguins have chewed up all of the rope swings, and the capuchin monkeys are freezing their asses off.

6> After twelve months in the red, you’re finally considering the possibility that maybe tortoises don’t eat flamingos.

5> Okay, so maybe they aren’t real giraffes, but teaching a horse to walk on stilts has got to be worth something right?

4> The pigs in the petting zoo appear to be reading “Animal Farm” — and making notes.

3> The penguins hold more black-tie fund-raisers than you do.

2> Zebras are reactionaries, antelopes are missionaries… and the apes just pummeled you senseless with their tire swing.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Not a Zoo Tycoon…

1> When you walk through the grounds, you always get pelted with primate feces — most of which is from the keepers.

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Credits:

Selected from 35 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 Gaming List authors are:

Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 1, 3, 4 (7th #1, Hat trick!)
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 2, 5
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI — 6, 7
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 8
George Schmidt, Sunnyvale, CA — Topic
Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL — Gaming Commissioner