5> That elfin warrior is wearing a flak jacket and toting around a rocket launcher he claims he got from a vendor in Freeport.

4> You’re not one hundred percent sure, but you strongly believe there were no Holy Bazookas during the middle ages.

3> Half an hour into the [...]

5> If it crashes as much as Windows, the most satisfying hack will come from a hatchet.

4> The “Tuberculosis Hack” makes the heroes of the games victorious by hocking loogies at their opponents.

3> Just cut a couple of wires, and you now have the “Paperweight Hack.”

2> Load game demo from Captain [...]

8> Tank Zone — Best known preparation for rush-hour driving.

7> Super Mario Brothers — Plumbing school is a precursor to superhuman leg muscles and the ability to control fire.

6> Tomb Raider — Develops abilities to differentiate natural cleavage from elective surgery enhancements.

5> Black & White — Dodging attacks of anthropomorphized, megalomaniacal [...]

6> Tribble Hunter

5> Sea Trek: On Board the Original Enterprise!

4> Sim Trek Convention

3> Ferengi Stock Trader

2> Vulcan Staring Contest

and the Number 1 Least Popular Star Trek Game…

1> Grand Theft Shuttle

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Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 6 contributors. Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 1, 2, 6 [...]

5> Power supply replaced by cage of crack-fed gerbils and an exercise wheel.

4> Eliminating the need for the hand control and its connecting wire, GameCubes now programmed to play with themselves, just like their owners!

3> New PS2s still DVD compatible, but can no longer play PS2 games.

2> Sony replaced their “Emotion [...]

6> Pat Summerall’s Place-Kicker Challenge

5> Martha Stewart’s Gridiron Decorator

4> Binding Arbitration Tycoon

3> Michael Jordan’s Virtual Retirement

2> Career Ending Injury Simulator

and the Number 1 Least Popular Sports Title…

1> Gran Tortismo II: Mud Turtle Rally Racing!

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 6 contributors. Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL [...]

8> From Pong to Kong: A twenty-part documentary of the early years of video games written and directed by Tom Hanks.

7> MASH ME*N: Hilarity ensues as the doctors of the 4077th are suddenly confronted with plastic casualties from the upcoming “Army Men: Korea.”

6> Pokemon Hunter: “Gor! Isn’t that Jigglypuff a [...]

5> Grievously Wounded Kombat

4> Resident None-Too-Good

3> Slowpoke the Hedgehog’s Caffeine Hunt

2> Penultimate Fantasy

and the Number 1 Video Game Prequel…

1> Ping

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Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 5 contributors. Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Seth Brown, Williamstown, MA — 1, 3 (High Score! 1st #1) Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 2, 5 Justin [...]

Majestic, the innovative conspiracy game that delivered clues via e-mails, instant messages, phone calls, and faxes, is shutting down on April 30th. They claim that it’s simply due to a lack of subscribers.

The Top 6 Real Reasons for Majestic’s Shutdown

6> Actual Shadow Government sued Majestic creators for copyright infringement.

5> Guarantee that one [...]

5> You find yourself beating up on a lot of people weaker than you in the hopes that this will somehow gain you experience.

4> Manager at local gaming store knows your name, your Quake name, and the names of the three girlfriends you dumped because they couldn’t remember your Quake [...]