NOTE FROM BRIAN:

In Black & White: Creature Isle, your giant
creature competes in 20 events to win the heart of
the island’s only female, Eve. You just know that
would make for better television than Curling.

The Top 9 Differences if the
Olympics Were Held on Creature Isle

9> The winner gets a gold medal, the loser gets eaten by an eighty ton mandrill.

8> Giant Otter wins the single luge competition — with no sled.

7> Every damn time you’re about to cross the finish line this really big red hand picks you up and throws you back to the starting line.

6> No more of this gold/silver/bronze stuff — awards are now banana/fresh leaves/cracker.

5> Platform diving finally recognizes the “elephant cannonball” as a valid effort.

4> All concession stands in Olympic Village are owned & operated by Ralston Purina.

3> With a prize like Eve, the flags at the awards ceremony won’t be the only things raised.

2> Judges don’t deduct tenths-of-a-point; they throw flaming feces at your performance area.

and the Number 1 Difference if the Olympics Were Held on Creature
Isle…

1> Okay, no problem with the smart-alecky cow, the kindly monkey, or the crafty tortoise, but was the hair-trigger skunk really necessary?

.

Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 5 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 1, 3 (6th #1)
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 2, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Thomas Prune, Beecher IL — 6, 8 (Rookie!)
Justin Murray, Orlando, FL — 7, 9
Theo Carter, Kemmerer, WY — Topic
Brian M. Klesc, Dallas, TX — Gaming Commissioner