Back Off: I Have Tongs

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Where I’m from, it’s spelled “BBQ”
and pronounced “bobbakew.”
That’s culture; go figure.

The Top 9 Rejected
Barbecue Apron Slogans

9> “You should see the sausage UNDER the apron!”

8> “DIE VEGAN DIE!!!”

7> “If you can’t stand the saturated fat, stay out of the back yard.”

6> “Mr. Salmonella”

5> “Ribs, for her pleasure”

4> “P.E.T.A.”

3> “Queen of the Grill (I *was* King of the Grill, but I singed my balls off.)”

2> “Kiss the Co*k”

and the Number 1 Rejected Barbecue Apron Slogan…

1> “Wanna wiener, doll? Barbie, queue here!”

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Credits:

Selected from 42 submissions from 14 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 1
David J. Ludwig, San Diego, CA — 2
Phyllis Reinhard, E. Fallowfield, PA — 3, 9
Steve Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 4
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 5
Leonard Topolski, Pearland, TX — 6, 9
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 8, 9
Michelle Lord, Lincoln, NE — Banner tag
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — the Saucier

RUNNERS UP list — Anybody seen my left thumb?

(A graphic, step-by-step cartoon of the entire pig butchering


(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

“I can warm anything on the end of my eight inch utensil.”
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)

“I don’t have any spare ribs, but I have meaty balls.”
(Phyllis Reinhard, E. Fallowfield, PA)

“I’m sweatin’ over your lunch.”
(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

“Lick the chef”
(Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA)

“Thigh and Breast Man”
(Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI)

“Wanna get skewered?”
(Edward Rodman, Ocean Twp., NJ)

Runner-Up List name:
(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)