August 20th, 2008
NOTE FROM DOUG:
China’s zeal to create a favorable
impression on the international community
during the 2008 Olympics included ordering
Beijing restaurants to temporarily remove a
staple item from their menus: dog.
impression on the international community
during the 2008 Olympics included ordering
Beijing restaurants to temporarily remove a
staple item from their menus: dog.
The Top 10 *Real* Reasons Dog
Was Removed From Beijing Menus
Was Removed From Beijing Menus
10> McDonald’s has a no competition clause.
9> Don’t tell anyone, but it’s still there. It’s just been rechristened “Domesticated Dingo.”
8> Just another Maoist plot to try to thwart all the Top5 Food contributors!
7> Didn’t want athletes’ blood tests to show excessive levels of heartworm medication.
6> They couldn’t find dogs in all five colors of the Olympic rings.
5> It had nothing to do with the Olympics. They were just behind on updating menus to reflect the Year of the Rat.
4> All the Americans saying “I’ll have the Chicken, Dawg!” or “Bring me the Veal, Dawg!” would unnecessarily confuse waiters.
3> The *word* “dog” was removed. Mu-shu Pork? Yeah, sure….
2> Because “Chow Chow Mein” just sounds too silly.
and the Number 1 *Real* Reason Dog Was Removed From Beijing Menus…
1> C’mon! Everyone knows dogs are out of season in months without an R!
.
Credits:
Selected from 43 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1, 9
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2, 10
Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA — 3
Randy Lee, Burke, VA — 3
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 4, Banner tag
Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN — 5
Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY — 5, 6
Laurie Northrup, Albany, NY — 7
Steve Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 8, 10
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — the Saucier
RUNNERS UP list — Chow Mange
After referring to the West as “Running Dog Capitalists” for
years, serving them dog seemed a little too cannibalistic.
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
All athletes know that, pound for pound, dogs have way more trans fats than rats, cats, and panda bears.
(Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA)
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
Beijing’s mayor misunderstood when told the city needed to get rid of the smog.
(Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY)
China now usng them to meet the increased demand for “pet-roleum.”
(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)
Spicy Shanghai Dog does not fit nicely in those cute Chinese takeout containers Westerners expect.
(Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI)
The minister of protocol is dyslexic and felt “roasted god” made the country seem barbaric.
(Phyllis Reinhard, E. Fallowfield, PA)
(Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY)
(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)
The People’s Government officially blames cheap imports of tainted British dogs.
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
To divert attention away from the issues of overpopulation, poverty, censorship, and pollution.
(Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA)
To prevent offending any service dogs coming along for the Paralympics.
(Laurie Northrup, Albany, NY)
Runners Up list name
(Randy Lee, Burke, VA)
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
All athletes know that, pound for pound, dogs have way more trans fats than rats, cats, and panda bears.
(Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA)
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
Beijing’s mayor misunderstood when told the city needed to get rid of the smog.
(Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY)
China now usng them to meet the increased demand for “pet-roleum.”
(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)
Spicy Shanghai Dog does not fit nicely in those cute Chinese takeout containers Westerners expect.
(Barb McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI)
The minister of protocol is dyslexic and felt “roasted god” made the country seem barbaric.
(Phyllis Reinhard, E. Fallowfield, PA)
(Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY)
(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)
The People’s Government officially blames cheap imports of tainted British dogs.
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
To divert attention away from the issues of overpopulation, poverty, censorship, and pollution.
(Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA)
To prevent offending any service dogs coming along for the Paralympics.
(Laurie Northrup, Albany, NY)
Runners Up list name
(Randy Lee, Burke, VA)
