NOTE FROM DOUG:

The networks and Hollywood have been recycling ALL the old TV shows. Here’s some of the ideas they’ve been considering to draw audience share from the Food Network.

The Top 10 TV Spinoff Shows About Food

10> L.A. Slaw

9> How to Cook Good Naked

8> Lost in Spice

7> Dirty Sexy Honey

6> Extreme Makeover: [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Some selections from the Crappa Valley wine region of Texas. They go great with Tex-Mex!

The Top 7 Texas Wines(Part II)

7> Chili Con Chianti

6> Stockyard Charred-n-Hay

5> Texaco Pinotroleum, Inc. Light Sweet Blush (currently trading at $85/barrel)

4> Border Fence Pino Gringo

3> Yellow Rose of Texas (Just what you [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Better known as a beer-and-whiskey state, Texas has recently been moving up in the estimation of winophil… orneryfool… WINE LOVERS, producing vintages worthy of competing on the world stage. And, these here….

The Top 8 Texas Wines(Part I)

8> Lurleen’s Liebfraumilch: Just Like Lurleen — Augmented for Your [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays! Except for the debilitating sugar crashes, and the weird stares for going Trick-or-Treating without kids.

The Top 9 Signs You Got Some Bad Halloween Candy

9> It comes with a Surgeon General’s warning.

8> For the first time ever, [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

“Mr. Ike” recently visited my kitchen and t o r e t h e j o i n t u p! We’re okay, but how are you supposed to prepare a real meal under these circumstances?

The Top 9 Dietary Changes Following a Severe Weather [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Chefs learn all kinds of tricks and techniques you and I can only dream about jealously. Let’s hope none of them are on this list!

The Top 10 Courses We Pray Aren’t Taught in Culinary College

10> Pouring Yourself Into Your Job: [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Top5Food is going on hiatus for a few weeks, so we figured it would be a good time to defrost the freezer. Here, then, are some of those unlabeled items we found.

The Top 9 Things From the Back of the Freezer

9> [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Theme bars and restaurants sometimes use cute names for the Mens and Ladies lounges, like “Cowboys” and “Cowgirls.” Well, here’s how our staff would leave their mark, so to speak.

The Top 9 Clever Names for Mens/Ladies Restrooms

9> Dining Car: Trains, Tunnels

8> In-N-Out Burgers: Ins, [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

There’s all the issues, the announcement of running mates, all the personal attacks. But we want to know the really important news from the conventions: What are they going to eat?

The Top 8 Specialty Dishes at the Democratic and Republican Conventions

8> (Both) Whatever it is, you can [...]

NOTE FROM DOUG:

One way to tell if an ethnic restaurant is “the real deal” is to see if people of that ethnicity eat there. Or, just pay attention.

The Top 10 Signs You’re Not at an Authentic Italian Restaurant

10> The word “Hut” anywhere in the name of the place.

9> You ask [...]