February 3, 2010
a Restaurant Run by Cannibals
(Part I)
8> Instead of words on the menu, there are photos of people.
7> You’re a little uncomfortable with the way the chef keeps
commenting on how nicely you’ve filled out.
6> When you visit the restroom, you find the liquid soap
dispenser filled with a tangy barbecue sauce.
5> The steak is cooked perfectly and smells great. But it has a
tattoo on the edge.
4> “No Bloody Marys tonight. Sorry, we’re all out. Might I
interest you in an ice-cold Bloody Marguerita?”
3> Their lunch buffet is named Jimmy, and their dinner buffet is
named Warren.
2> Giselle Bundchen is at the next table, but the waiters are all
over your porcine wife.
Selected from 64 submissions from 16 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 1, 3
Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN — 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 5, 6
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 7, 8
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — the Saucier
(Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)
During your boyfriend’s trip to the restroom the waiter informs
you of a new special: Sloppy Joes. Your boyfriend: Joe.
(Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)
Filet of Sol. That’s not a misprint.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The “Blood Sausage” comes in O, A and B, but AB Negative is
$2.00 extra.
(Tom Rodman, Durham, NC)
The breakfast menu features “Blueberry Pancreas with a side of
Kevin Bacon.”
(Tom Rodman, Durham, NC)
You notice that your entree has the same tattoo as the customer
who stepped into the kitchen to complain to the chef.
(Tom Rodman, Durham, NC)
You swear the waiter said the special tonight was “Frank” steak.
(Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)