July 1, 2009     

Once more, with filling!

NOTE FROM DOUG:

Your Saucier is nearing the end of a long
series of dental procedures and, as any of
you who have endured it know, it can make
eating the foods you love *problematic*.

The Top 9 Ways Foodies “Cope”
Following Major Dental Procedures

9> Remember what you ate at the best restaurant you ever visited?
Good! Dwell on that memory!

8> Iditarod-themed meal plan: All the mush you can stomach.

7> At last, a use for that fondue set Aunt Myrtle gave you as a
going-off-to-college present back in the Reagan
Administration.

6> Chocolate Peanut Butter Hagen Dazs. Not that you need an
extraction for that.

5> According to Cousin Bubba, if you marinate that ribeye long
enough, you may just be able to suck that bad boy up through a
straw.

4> After dental work, salt water rinsing is important. So load up
the rim of your margarita glass and gargle before each gulp.

3> Hire yourself a really good chewer.

2> Same way you cope with everything. Beer is a carbohydrate, so
that’s your dinner. Tequila shuts off the mind, so there’s
dessert.

and the Number 1 Way Foodies “Cope” Following Major Dental Procedures…

1> Ask the waiter how much he’d charge you just to lick certain
entrees.

.

Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 1, 9
Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE — 2
Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 5, 7
Steve Lunetta, Tucson, AZ — 6
David Franks, Wichita, KS — 8
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — Banner tag
Doug Frank, Crosby, TX — the Saucier

RUNNERS UP list — Ow! Bon Pain!

“Billy, peel me a grape. Thank you. Andy, chew it for me, would
you? There’s a good boy.”

(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)

Breakfast: chocolate milkshake. Lunch: chocolate pudding. Dinner:
chocolate souffle.

(Leslie Arduser-Brogan, Webster, NY)

Easy: One steak medium rare and one high powered blender set on
liquefy.

(Scott Halstead, Carson, CA)

(Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, MN)

(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)

(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)

Haven’t we learned anything from watching “Will It Blend?” You
could have all your teeth kicked out of your head by donkeys and
eat a television!

(Michele Lord, Lincoln, NE)

Peanut butter, apple butter, prime rib butter…

(David Franks, Wichita, KS)

Sushi smoothies. YUM.

(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)

Tell yourself that as long as you have the dressing, who needs the
salad anyway?

(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)

With all those mashed potatoes you’ll be eating, you’ll have a
chance to practice your Devil’s Tower sculpting prowess in case
they make that sequel.

(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)

Runners Up list name

(Phil Schwa, Bala Cynwyd, PA)