The Top 9 Things Overheard at
Arkham Asylum’s Christmas Party

9> “Harley, with your gun so bright, won’t you slay my guard tonight?”

8> “Well, when *I* carved the roast beast, it was still alive, and I sure as hell didn’t give back the presents first!”

7> “Martha, these lemon curd tarts are to die for!”

6> “Thanks for the silver platter, guys, but an IOU in place of Batman’s head is a bit disappointing.”

5> “Looking at all the smiling corpses around the appetizer table brings me to wonder why we keep letting the Joker help with the hors d’oeuvres.”

4> “Okay, Miss Isley, we’ll use an artificial tree. Now please, drop your weapon.”

3> “Don’t drink the punch — Poison Ivy spiked it with Miracle-Gro!”

2> “Whaddya mean, ‘Deck the hall with bowels of Holly?’ That’s what I did to get slapped in this stinking hole in the first place!”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at Arkham Asylum’s Christmas
Party…

1> “And we would like to thank Mr. Freeze for all these lovely ice sculptures. It almost looks as if there are actual people in the– Damn it, Freeze!!!”

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Credits:

Selected from 45 submissions from 26 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 1, 2, 5 (10th #1,
8th Hat trick!)
Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH — 3, 7
Jeremy Bleichman, Fair Lawn, NJ — 4
Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 6
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 8
Bernard Donohue, Glendale, CA — 9
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — Topic
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL — Inmate in charge