NOTE FROM DAVE:

Every year, the devout of the comic book legions
head to San Diego for Comic-Con, the holiest of
holy. Among the varied reasons to attend is the
annual presentation of the Will Eisner Comic
Industry Awards. The nominees for this July’s
shindig have been announced. DC and its various
imprints led the pack with 23 nominations, while
Marvel had a mere seven nominations.
Sadly, a measly seven nods are the best showing
Marvel has seen in years, which just screams for a topic…

The Top 9 Things Marvel
Can Do to Win More Eisners

9> Start their own line of awards: The Ultimate Eisners. Rewrite history so they aren’t bogged down with all that continuity of non-winning.

8> Bribe judges with candid shots of Halle Berry in her X2 dressing room.

7> Cleavage: More on Jean Grey, less on the Incredible Hulk.

6> Settle the damn lawsuit with Stan Lee already.

5> Forget “Free Comics Day” — throw all your support behind “Free Pie for Eisner Voters Day.”

4> Step 1: Obtain hair samples of Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore. Step 2: Start cloning, Chester!

3> Use kneepads next time!

2> The same way they try to solve all their problems: crank out a dozen more soulless X-Books.

and the Number 1 Thing Marvel Can Do to Win More Eisners…

1> Stop publishing crap.

.

Credits:

Selected from 42 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH — 1 (Shazam! 1st #1!)
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 2, 9
Chris Louth, Vancouver, Canada — 3
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 4, 8
Jeremy Bleichman, Fair Lawn, NJ — 5
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 6
Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX — 7
Brian Pierce, Lynnwood, WA — 9
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL — Still no Eisner