October 27th, 2006
NOTE FROM JENNIFER:
With all the famous children in
the news lately — Suri, Shiloh,
whatever Madonna’s new kid’s name
is — we decided to find out what
advice superhero mentors, moms,
dads and legal guardians might
have to share.
the news lately — Suri, Shiloh,
whatever Madonna’s new kid’s name
is — we decided to find out what
advice superhero mentors, moms,
dads and legal guardians might
have to share.
The Top 8 Superhero Parenting Tips
8> Super Kid = Super Smell!
7> Stuffed animals are always a safe bet… unless your child’s super-power involves fire, of course. Or animating inanimate objects.
6> Black Canary: It’s best to double-check that the racket coming from your child’s room is music and not an unauthorized attempt at imitating Mom’s Canary Cry.
5> Sue Storm: You’d be amazed at how many other chores you can get done while playing hide-and-seek invisibly.
4> Wonder Woman: When fighting crime, leave the car seat at home. It gives away the location of the invisible plane.
3> When you look at childhood trauma as origin-story fodder, all that parental guilt just goes away!
2> Batman: Always hire butlers who are good with children. And at organizing funerals.
and the Number 1 Superhero Parenting Tip…
1> Take off the mask before going to tuck them in at night.
.
Credits:
Selected from 52 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL — 1, 4 (4th #1!)
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 2
Deb Harold, Miami, FL — 3
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 5
Andrea Zimmerman, Chicago, IL — 6, 7
Doug Husovsky, Cave Creek, AZ — 8
Jennifer Ford, Chicago, IL — Mystery Woman
RUNNERS UP list — Parental Guidance Demanded
Don’t let them know you’re a superhero until they’re past the age
of blurting out embarrassing things in public, or you can just
kiss that secret identity goodbye.
(Deb Harold, Miami, FL)
No matter how true it is, the “I had to save the universe again!” excuse for missing school events gets really old really fast.
(Deb Harold, Miami, FL)
Peter Parker: Give them the benefit of the doubt when they say their clone did it.
(Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI)
Spider-Man: With great sex comes great responsibility.
(Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX)
Stock up at Halloween with plenty of costumes in various sizes, because Baby Gap doesn’t usually carry them the rest of the year, and even normal kids grow faster than you think.
(Andrea Zimmerman, Chicago, IL)
(Deb Harold, Miami, FL)
No matter how true it is, the “I had to save the universe again!” excuse for missing school events gets really old really fast.
(Deb Harold, Miami, FL)
Peter Parker: Give them the benefit of the doubt when they say their clone did it.
(Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI)
Spider-Man: With great sex comes great responsibility.
(Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX)
Stock up at Halloween with plenty of costumes in various sizes, because Baby Gap doesn’t usually carry them the rest of the year, and even normal kids grow faster than you think.
(Andrea Zimmerman, Chicago, IL)
