NOTE FROM DAVE:

Granted, you once had your own comic book title.
You even did a cameo in Howard the Duck.
But something’s changed. Your book was canceled.
Your merchandise is strictly bargain bin.
Even guest appearances are hard to come by.
It’s time to face the bitter truth…

The Top 9 Signs You’ve Become a Second
String Character in the Comic Book World

9> Spiderman? Tobey Maguire. Wolverine? Hugh Jackman. You? Negotiations for Tom Arnold after Bob Saget turned it down.

8> In all the promos for the big summer crossover, they keep showing your picture near the phrase “Somebody Will Die!”

7> Your assistance on a case was just refused — by Aqualad and the Star Spangled Kid.

6> In a poll to see whether your sidekick lives or dies, 68% of the voters wanted to keep the sidekick and kill you off.

5> The only time you see any action is when your copyright is about to expire.

4> They took your action figure off the shelf at the toy store to make room for the “Carrot Top” doll.

3> Even Cave Carson and Congorilla won’t return your calls.

2> At the last JLA business meeting, you had to sit at the card table with Zan and Jayna.

and the Number 1 Sign You’ve Become a Second String Character in
the Comic Book World…

1> Although you’re constantly hearing speculation that you’re about to get killed off, you haven’t heard a single rumor about how you’ll be brought back to life.

.

Credits:

Selected from 60 submissions from 15 contributors,
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jim Manchester, Huntsville, AL — 1, Topic (Shazam! 1st #1)
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 2
Dave Hill, Centennial, CO — 3
Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 4, 9
Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 5
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 6
Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL — 7
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 8
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — Mild-Mannered Reporter